I couldn't
sleep, then opened my old blog (before streethijab.com), not too many posts there, just pictures, but I got so many things out of it. Then I started to
read all the emails from streethijab.com readers, and suddenly I felt so small. They're come from different backgrounds with great stories about their hijab.
Well now, I really want to share my personal story about hijab, my
relationships and my social life.
1. My college and My social life
It was early 2004, I started to live in
Yogyakarta, and studied at Gadjah Mada University (UGM), Cultural Faculty,
Majoring in Western Asian Literature (Arabic). Back in that days, I wore hijab during class hours only. In 2005-2007, I could say that, that was the time
where I was like homeless who spent most of my time on the street. Young, and
wasted I guest. Wearing shorts and sneakers and t-shirts all the time.
Until
one day in 2007, I met my partner, FS. He is an visual artist and also a
vocalist in his band. Actually, our relationship didn't give a change to my
life at the time, but more like, well now I have a partner at wasting my life
:)) But one thing I couldn't forget, my partner always gave me a lot of
lessons about the importance of education.
In 2008, I left my college at UGM
and I took new majors which is I interested more. It is Television Broadcasting
at Indonesian Communications Academy Jogjakarta (AKINDO). My life began to
change since I really got into my study and worked at the same time. I spent
more of my time on campus while my partner got serious with his design and art
activities.
Time goes fast, we both felt getting old now :D In 2010, I took my
college final task, and FS also more busy with his design studio. We started to
re-arrange things what we want to achieve for our future. I have the desire to
work on the national television media in Jakarta. My family is a little
worried, because there is a term that says "Jakarta is cruel". I calm
my parents down and promised them I'll be just OK and I will take care my self
well, and I said "if I got a job and moved to Jakarta, I'll wear
hijab". I said my intentions sincerely.
2. Guidance
I've said my intentions, and Allah gave
me the way to hijab without having to wait for me to finish my college and without having to wait for work calls. Allah gave me a beautiful dream about
hijab, and made me always think about hijab, and bless me with spark and desire
to wear hijab, all the time, never stop. Like being chased by something, and
receiving a huge passion to wear hijab immediately. I'll never forget that
moment of Ramadhan 2010, less than a week after my intention to wear hijab, I started to wear it, and thank Allah I never took my hijab off until now.
3. Early time wearing hijab
All my friends was really shocked when
they saw my new look with hijab, but most of them gave me a positive response and support me. My family, my partner responded positively. But there is also
some friends who look at me strange, much less friends who usually meet me at
campus or gigs/ music event. I began to adapt my self to this new way of
dressing and adapt with circle. I'm not buying many new clothes, I just do mix
n match between hijab and my old long jacket or shirt. I more often wear
triangular (classic) hijab, because it has lots of variety and cheap. Then I found out
from youtube about how to modify and get creative on wearing hijab.
And wow, it
was so much exciting. But something that always I emphasize to my self, I don't
want my hijab dominated by fashion tendency. My love of Allah, the spirit of
Islamic culture, and the comfort on wearing hijab is my priority, then the
fashion value will just follow, according to the fashion taste I have.
4. Hijab misappropriation
2011 was my lucky year, I got a job in
one of the national TV channel, but it was not followed by the success of my
relationship with FS, we split up :( I met other man, but then I found that he
was a less consistent in his religious life. Well actually I really respect
everybody ideology, but there is something, I really can't understand what is
in his head.
I chose the word 'misappropriation'
here because, it seems that I was less sensitive to the trials that Allah gave to me.
Once I think, my hijab would give me a
good image, and honestly it's a part of my self that was so fake. For a
small example, I was very angry when my boy friend upload a photo of us on
twitter, while what I want to find in this new relationship is the purity of a
relationship. well maybe that's good, but fake at the same time. Because hijab
should teach me about sincerity and honesty, not just self-image in front of
fellow human beings.
Ya Allah, shame on me, I admited it, I've made a mistake.
Once again I realized that phase was a real trial from Allah in my
hijab intentions, having a relationship with someone who doesn't have a belief
on Allah is so wrong. And thank Allah, Allah help me, with a remarkable simple
way, this relationship is over. And then I reunited with my previous partner,
FS.
5. Self-improvement
Now my days running normally, I worked
in Jakarta, my partner in Jogjakarta, we both eager to learn more and more
enrich ourselves for our future, which hopefully, we'll live together.
On hijab, there are much to learn as well, learning how to dress in a better way, learn how to motivate myself and others and learn to raise my faith on Allah, and of course learn to be honest in wearing hijab. This is what I am is, I am no longer concerned with self-image, it would only shift and distort the intentions, vision and mission on hijab.
On hijab, there are much to learn as well, learning how to dress in a better way, learn how to motivate myself and others and learn to raise my faith on Allah, and of course learn to be honest in wearing hijab. This is what I am is, I am no longer concerned with self-image, it would only shift and distort the intentions, vision and mission on hijab.
Ohh.. how I want to embrace you one by
one dear all my readers, to have your email and read your story is a very
inspiring moment for me personally. We will not stop here, let's show our love
towards Allah, our allegiance to Islam and our pride with hijab. May we not
fall into the order of ungrateful and hypocritical people, nauzubillah .. Amen
Yaa Rabbal Alamin
Thank you all,
Assalamualaikum...
Dhatu Rembulan
xoxo :))
